Flowers in this Attic

Life. ...As Others See Fit

When I was growing up all of the adults in my life thought that I was gay. It was strange. Because I wasn't and some of them were.


You need to let kids be kids, sure they can emulate their role models, but that doesn't mean that they are their role models.


No no no no, I didn't say don't let kids watch /GAY/ people I merely said I don't want my kids watching /STUPID/ people. I don't know if there's a way to say what you obviously intended without it sounding like it's in dogwhistle. My kid is a KID.

I don't assume shit about his sexuality because he's a god damn kid. Things like "I don't know what I would do if you were gay," "Gay people gross me out," etc. I know y'all are having fun misinterpreting this billboard, but personally, my life would have been much easier if my parents didn't just assume I was straight. I don't take my child to movies because I know for damn sure she's gonna cry and talk throughout it.

Doesn't the sign specifically say "don't assume they're straight".

I dont know if I would say brainwashed or not. at least not anymore brainwashed than a typical girl of the same age. They are most likely straight so I assume the most common outcome Who assumes their kids sexuailty? A presumption of validity has to be accorded to documents that confer rights, when issued by a gov't agency.

A presumption of death has to be made in some cases to set a status, when there's a lack of counterevidence. A friend had a kid and we knew that he was gay at 5. I like how you jumped from the possibility your kid might be gay to "pushing sexuality down kids throats".

I don't think you understand the message in this image. A few years ago some friends and I went to see "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters".

Nah, I don't think anyone is making their own choices about what to take from this. I think you are being an awesome and supportive parent without forcing your expectations onto your child. A friend from high school was complaining of Facebook about how he took his wife and his 2 month old son to the movies. Lets not assume anything and you worry about your kids and ill teach mine what I feel to be right. My parents always assumed I was straight, but they made it very clear that they would support me if I was gay. I understand where you're coming from. and I consider myself pretty open-minded, but thats not what I see here.

Most of it was good natured ribbing, but kids don't really have a filter for that when it's about something new. I agree, also don't assume they are gay either.

I don't know, man. I think they might have been talking about straight people calling their infant a 'ladies man' because his eyes wandered at a woman.

Especially because no one really cares he's gay, all that means is that having kids will require extra steps for him. Most moms of gay people I know, myself included, will say they always knew. Many parents of gay kids and LGBT people themselves attest that they knew since they were very young. As a kid I just assumed they knew what they were talking about and that this was normal and how I should be. I appreciate your general respectful way of speaking, but I think "abhorrent" is probably a strong word here. He is actually gay and I couldn't be happier he came out and is true to himself. Don't ever let your kid think their feelings are wrong, even at a early age. But if you let a kid be themselves they we be pants shitting, candy gobbling fucking selfish whiney bossy monster! A more accurate way to quantify the lgbt community in America would be through the census. As a gay man, I assume people are straight. I don't understand this billboard. That was like the 90's so I guess the age when you become a horny little fuck is around 8. How about communicate with your kid in a way that makes it clear that you support him/her no matter what? To most people, if you tell them to not assume x, you are indirectly telling them to assume y. Yeah, I think people in this thread have two completely different ideas about what "assume" means. You could also read the sign to mean: Don't reject them if they say they think someone of the same sex is cute.

I think the closet thing is supposed to be a reference to "being in the closet". And as many people have pointed out, the sign doesn't say "Assume your kids are gay!", just to not make assumptions. I can't stand the entitlement for people with kids, you have a baby don't fucking bring him to the damn movie! Too many parents, without meaning to be bad, reject those feelings and tell the child, "No, you like boys/girls".

seems pretty gay This billboard is disgusting on so many levels. I suppose it's statistically safe to assume a lot about your kid, but they're presumably not just a statistic to you. If you really deny any possibility of them being gay or otherwise not straight, it could really fuck them up. I knew I was gay when I was 4. Right because you can't assume your kid is going to turn out like literally 98% of other kids. Like how I was always really excited to talk to certain boys including one who bullied me a lot. 1 2 3 4 Don't forget to drink your Soma 5 6 7 8 Don't assume your kids don't have non hodgkin's cell lymphoma! Don't assume anything about your kids except that they want to be loved and accepted by their goddamned parents. I'm 23 and people still assume I am gay.

No, actually, it's not likely that a kid being gay from 7 - 12 is "just a phase". My advice is to not get worked up and let the kid know you love them no matter what, the rest does not matter.

Aww this replaced the hilarious State Farm billboard of the agent with terrifying eyes. What's wrong with "I don't know?" Well when I was an eight year old I knew I wanted to fuck girls.

You don't need to assume your kids are gay, and you don't need to assume they are straight either, because that's just two sides of the same coin.

Is it possible your friends are just so strung out on baby that they don't have their wits about them? Yes is it statistically likely that your kid is straight, but people that does not completely eliminates the alternative.

I mean you could argue he was right, but I knew and she knew what she was going for. not really To some people, being critical of others for acting comfortably is more offensive than people acting comfortably.

Strange, I know. I'm pretty sure this is the point the billboard is trying to get across. It's hard to simplify a complex message about a difficult topic to a billboard. He and his wife were homeschooling their kids because they "don't want the liberal schools telling their kids it's ok to be gay". I wanted to some more counting" Don't Assume Your Kids Are Straight - "OH SHIT. Where'd that come from?" -look, I dont know how old he really is, but if it were a little girl instead of a little boy I would say the same thing.

What pisses me off about this entire thing is that it all rests on the idea that assumptions are inherently wrong. 1 2 3 4 Open up the front door 5 6 7 8 Go outdoors and play, it's great! I remember when I was 7 or 8 my neighbor friend suggested we hold hands to show our friendship at school. I'd like my kid to know that I support him either way, even if there's only a 3. 8% chance of him needing it. Exactly, you shouldn't just put gender into every interaction with kids when they're too young to understand this about themselves. It says "Open up the closet door" meaning "make it easier for your kid to come out when they're ready. " now, european surveys say 6% But again, they say it's difficult, not every country has census data on their lgbt communities.

It's a safer bet to just not assume and let them make it known to you when they know for sure. A comparatively small number of people are not straight. I'm supposed to treat my kid as a potential LGBT member because of a 2% Chance that he might be gay? Am I the only one who read that in the voice of a Nightmare on Elm Street child singing? Yeah my parents were constantly asking what girl I was interested in or joke that girls I was friends with were my girlfriend. The haircut, the mannerisms, even the inappropriate outfit, and when you combine that with the obscene dancing. Not sure why people here seem to think this sign means 'only treat them like they are gay' Well, except I do know why. Oh I know but I do it anyways. If a parent wants to bring up their kid without ascribing a gender to them, that's their prerogative and I don't really see the downside. That, or they enjoy adding things to this billboard that clearly aren't there. Let them answer the question when they're ready, and have the knowledge they deem fit to make such a decision. As a side note, just because something doesn't happen most of the time doesn't mean it isn't normal or natural. It's all the rage these days to make parental determinations of sexuality and gender identity of kids. Why would you not assume your kids are straight if it's the predominant orientation? I'm gonna assume my kid is straight until he/she says otherwise. I know this is kind of off-topic, but I just remembered this today. Source: I have a 12 year old son who has been "out of the closet" since 7 This seems extremely reasonable and I don't know what the problem of the downvotes is. You hide those feelings deep down inside where even you can pretend they don't exist, most of the time. I suggest you read my comment again, never said that It's perfectly safe except for the cost of the assumption. You could cause gay kids years of distress by assuming they're straight. I mean, I'm not a betting man, but I'd say the odds are he/she is straight. The struggle is real my little cousin has beena flamboyant gay boy since he was 2. So he stayed in the closet all that time and worried all that time for nothing. Weeeell I was having dreams about boobs at age 9, way before I hit puberty. I don't understand why some people are downvoting you. I want to take what you say at face value, but aren't you kind of contradicting yourself? I appreciate men from afar, but I have 0 ability to start a relationship.

You're a kid in an exciting place with lots of colors and music and you see people dancing like that, you might just copy them. Otherwise, we'll just end up in a world filled with passive-aggressive snipes and nobody wants to live in a neverending suburban dinner party. Constant changes in the pitch of the voice from the beginning of the sentence to the end. Flaunting your hands in the air and constantly tapping people on the shoulder for the smallest thing. I love how this entire thread is full of people flipping the fuck out about how this sign "sexualizes children" when all it says is "don't assume your kid is straight". /s How is parents telling other parents not to make assumptions, "pushing things down kids throats?" It just seems with exposure to media kids are getting sexualized at younger and younger ages.

My gay friends all have similar stories of just being gay for as long as they remember. Skinny, spiked short hair, glasses, no facial hair, no muscles, just a very in the middle of both genders.

Official gay population in the U.

S is about 1% officially, lets double that and lets say 2%. Not saying the kid should be there in the first place, but a kid doing something silly/embarrassing at a young age certainly couldn't be called brainwashing. before seeing my face I have a beard, I weigh 180, I have hairy arms and collared shirts and jeans every time it happened.

But I can totally see not wanting a label, especially if it doesn't fit. So, it's statistically a safe bet to assume your kid is straight. people are mad about the wrong ultra specific label. just don't label me at all. Sorry mom, I don't want to suck dick. How about this one: a presumption is a usually-rebuttable inference that must be made in light of certain facts. I'm going to add to this conversation that psychologically speaking, children aren't sexually cognizant, or realize their sexuality until age 12.

"Let kids be kids" sounds like a reasonable thing to say, but it really isn't if your kid is gay and stays in the closet out of fear of rejection. Idk why people are getting defensive as though it's saying "assume they are gay". Those things really hurt when your parents say them and they make it really tough to come out. no it makes people lunatics who think their kid has measles every time it sneezes nothing? Again, not the worst thing in the world, and if you're supportive when he does come out it all ends well. But lgbt are excluded from census data, so we rely on rather dodgy polls that have an unknown margin of error. I know why. The sign is worded in such a way that unless you know what it's talking about, it kind of just looks dumb. At this point in time people should be aware enough to know that there are queer people around them This is great! Not to mention, they're just kids, leave them to think about it on their own before you try jump to conclusions about them. "Get a life, Jews" I feel like kids shouldn't watch tlc, I don't have kids I only know that from what I've seen it's just not the best show for kids going through their developmental stages of life. I never knew why but now this kid who used to be my best friend is a bit homophobic and makes me uncomfortable. with 3. 8% being the most recent result, obtained from more than 58,000 interviews conducted in the first four months of this year. He finally wised up but we didn't kick him out of the house or anything.

Why would I assume my baby goats are gay???? I see the struggle and I have decide that they really do deserve some slack. If something or someone is annoying to somebody, they've got the right to speak against it. I can't imagine what being a parent is like, but from what I hear the first few months are crazy drive people insane bad. As a new parent, I can understand the desire to get out of the house, and/or expose the kids to the world around them.

One number that is constantly with us, that can be altered at any time or just simply checked? Granted I didn't treat him any differently than if he'd been anything else. If a kid is showing a sexual preference at that age it shouldn't be repressed. as I said, you don't actively assume, you make no conscious effort. They saw the hair and just assumed I was a woman, and felt like complete idiots when they saw me face and apologized. I could tell she was transitioning but he apparently didn't give the blouse, fingernails, make up and jewelry, long hair a second thought. If I was a betting man those numbers are pretty clear which one is the safe bet. Actually, we grant the presumption of innocence even when there seems to be a decent probability of guilt.

As a very liberal individual, this has to be the worst designed sign I've ever seen. Then a random person calls you and asks if you personally identify as gay bisexual or transgender. When you're working with those kinds of percentages the answer to 'Did you just assume my gender?' wouldn't of I was on board with you until you committed this most grievous of sins. According to a recent Gallup Poll Do you, personally, identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender?" They can be whatever like who ever they want Let a kid be themselves? Imagine if you are a Christian man who is fighting unsettling feelings of attraction toward a male friend. According to Chaladze, non-homosexual male carriers might sometimes manifest interest in homosexual behavior without having a homosexual identity.

My little cousin was I guess flamboyant as a kid. Aside from the obvious point that you shouldn't be worrying about a kid's sexuality, statistically, it does make sense to assume they're heterosexual. I find in the case I would 100% agree with you and the manager. Wtf is going on in his life for him to be there doing that. Hell, our eldest went through a phase where he thought he liked the Raiders. After my friend was finished yelling the manager told him to leave and to not come back. Growing up, parents say all kinds of things, especially when gay rights is brought up. you don't even think about it until something happens that makes you second guess. You would think, yes, but lets not dwell on such silly things like that. I just wasn't at ALL surprised when he got his first boyfriend. A lot of people are stupid like that. We try to support all our kids, regardless of who they love. I meant that it could have been a phase, not that it probably was. And its pretty goofy Sounds like a good way to go crazy, obsessing about that one downvote.

I don't have children. but in hindsight you always act as if your kid turns out straight first. Some people don't come out until they are well into adulthood because they're afraid of backlash. So essentially, the interviewers randomly called a bunch of people and asked if they were gay. there is still a huge stigma in this country surrounding not being straight, cis, heteronormal, whatever. That isnt what it says at all, just felt like you should get that clarified. We grant people the presumption of innocence even when there is no evidence or probability either way.

The prefix pre implies it's a starting inference that is waiting and even expecting to be tested. Therefore, it's unlikely that a child could ever answer the question of their sexuality, until they are cognizant of their preferred sexual behavior.

You don't have to think about your sexuality, you just are what you are. There's gotta be at least one person making controversial statements about being chill and considerate. And the fact that there isn't a longstanding societal stigma against people who like to eat chocolate? Found Bo Burnham It still pisses me off as a 21 year old. 1,2,3,4 - "Alright sweet I love counting, and so do the kids" Open Up The Closet Door - "WTF does counting have to do with a closet" 5,6,7,8 - "Dope. So how early are we going to start pushing sexuality down kids throats? On the other side of the coin, don't hate someone for being different.

Even when pushing to and said "if your son was gay, what would you do?" Doesn't this sign literally say not to make assumptions about young children's sexuality. I knew I was gonna regret asking that question. They read into the message based on their fears and paranoia, that society is pushing sexuality on kids and telling them they are probably gay. I know people say the "did you just assume my gender" thing ironically but people do sometimes assume people are male or female or and the line comes up and it's funny. Let everyone be themselvea I nearly woke up the toddler from laughing. There is a fine line in there somewhere to raising a kid. I don't enjoy the crying anymore than you. Seems to me like the word 'presume' is a lot less strong when used in a legal sense than it is in common parlance. Mothers against others. Even the name of their group sets them up to be discriminatory. Polls even reputable ones should be taken with a grain of salt, and even a few percentage points off is a difference of millions. You should see the way my one year old daughter acts around other girls. Is there a good chance this is a phase and means next to nothing? Obviously that means I am gay. I knew, right then, that I needed to move away from Indiana. Burn it all down, I say. I just dislike the need to label everybody these days. This is dumb Its no different than assuming your kid likes chocolate or cake. More broadly though, it might apply in lots of circumstances you wouldn't think of. Those were dark days indeed You don't deserve these downvotes. I mean, isnt it reasonable to assume they are? This may be significant in that there's no bias or judgment associated with a presumption. One of the few videos that left me speechless and completely disgusted. He argued with the manager about how his son couldn't possibly understand the subject manner. I and most of the kids I knew certainly had a few "girlfriends" or "boyfriends" in elementary school, and rumors flew about who "like-liked" who and other silly nonsense. Is your kid likely gay? Presume means to start with an initial conclusion about something based on probability, whereas assume generally implies that there's really no evidentiary basis for the conclusion.